Word-Less Valentine

February 14, 2011

in Everyday Lessons

I’m a word woman.  Let’s be honest, most of us women are.  Or, at least, science claims that women have tens of thousands more words per day than men.  And so, to understand love, I’ve often wanted words spoken to me.  And often, I try to use words to reveal my love to others.

Funny, isn’t it, that Peter instructs us women to hold our tongues when it comes to winning over our husbands?

Likewise, wives,be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 1 Peter 3:1-2

So often, I let my conduct slip and trust that I can make it up with words.  And words certainly have their place.  But, on this Valentine’s Day, I’m challenged by Peter’s words-to win over my husband (not that he is not obeying the Word), but to show him my love and respect through my conduct with him each day.

It’s one thing to tell him I respect him and love him, and it’s quite another to SHOW him.

Today, as we celebrate LOVE, I’m asking these questions.  Perhaps, if you’re married, you might ask them too!

  • What actions can I take to show my husband I respect his walk with the Lord?  Might I ask him for his help or insight with a passage?  Can I better provide a special time or place for him to read or pray?  Shouldn’t I pray for him more-realizing his spiritual leadership of our home is critical?
  • How might I conduct myself to help my husband know I respect his work?  How can I better help him prepare in the mornings for a successful day?  What things can I do to benefit his friendships at work and bless his co-workers?  How can I better celebrate his successes and stand by him in his failures?
  • How can I better show respect for my husband’s need for physical intimacy?  In what ways can I save my physical and emotional energy for him? What other things can be cut out in order to make more space for this?
  • In what ways can I show my submission to my husband’s plans and desires for raising our children and running our household?  What desires of his can I make my own in order to show my respect for his thoughts and opinions? What quiet changes can I make that reveal my trust in his ability to father and govern well?

These questions are enough to keep me busy till next Valentine’s Day, or for a decade of Valentine’s.  I don’t want to be the clanging cymbal Paul referenced in 1 Corinthians 13.  I want REAL LOVE in my heart for my husband.  And God’s love is a verb. It is a way of living, a quiet conduct that convinces its audience of Christ’s cross.

Lord, YOU are love.  At the cross, we see LOVE.  You had your days of preaching.  But, as you hung there before the mockers, your words were few.  And there, you won us over.  In  your quiet humility, dying for us, you teach us the way to love.

Lord, fill me, live in me and cause me to LOVE.  Of course, let me speak love.  But, more than anything, let me LIVE LOVE…most of the time, without a word. Amen.

What questions can you ask of your life today that would help you better love him, without a word?  I’d love to hear.


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