There’s always been some small part of me that longs to do something big. And I’ve spent years chasing the big things-the scholarships and awards, the big salary, the big position. Even when I began walking with a big God, I still couldn’t settle for smallness. I boarded a plane to cross the world, the biggest thing I could think to do.
But here and now, in these days, life doesn’t feel very big anymore. I live in the city of churches, one on every block, and here on this cul-de-sac, life is all of the sudden, small. The big ambitions now feel somewhere out there, on the horizon, and too far in the distance for me to even get close-me here with my dishpan hands and babies on my hips.
Here in the smallness when the tiny second hand moved past the 12 and one big year turned into another, I asked God if He might make this new year a big one. And as the calendar page turned, He turned me here…
“You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.”
Slowly, as the sun has risen and fallen on these first days of 2012, Christ has been giving me BIG eyes to be faithful in the small things. Not to mourn or regret all I CAN’T do, but to just do the small thing I CAN.
- I may not be able to read the whole assignment for the day, but I can read a few words, a few sentences, a chapter maybe?
- I may not be able to write a long letter, but I can send a short card.
- I may not be able to give $500, but I can give $5 or $50.
- I may not be able to hold her for hours, but I can sit still and hold her for minutes.
- I may not be able to talk for long, but maybe just to say hello and ‘I’m thinking about you.’
- I may not get to share the whole Gospel story, but I can say a small word, a little hint of the great BIG truth.
And even in these first few days, these days of noticing and doing the small things, the year already feels bigger. Suddenly, I’m not dreaming of all I don’t have but finally noticing all that I do. Perhaps that’s the reason that the one who has will be given more. Because truly having a thing involves taking notice of it, stewarding it, treating the small thing as a great promise for something BIG.
After I realize all that I already have, I already have more than I knew.
So, this is the plan for a BIG year: to just do small things. This is the year of small things. I wake in the early morning and hold this small thing, this girl who weighs only ten pounds. I hold her tight, hear those big breaths and that steady heart and wonder that I haven’t woken up to this before. Haven’t I seen the truth of the small things in this small bundle? Each small drop I feed her, each faithful moment of sitting and filling, each of these little moments will grow her up big in just one year.
And I pray for eyes to see it happen-to see the small things and be full of faith and obedience in each and every one.