When I finally sit to make the week’s list, the paper fills up all too quickly. I’m writing past the margins, in the corners, more to do’s than can possibly be done. Simple Mom says to only list ten items for the day, but what can I do with the other twenty that should have been all done yesterday?
I read and read about the issue of domestic violence, know that we’re behind on supporting our missionary friends, and who’s taking care of all those babies still starving in the Horn of Africa? But, here, it’s a good day if I haven’t missed an appointment, made it to my bed without tripping over piles of unfolded (but clean) laundry and had some form of dinner ready before the kids began to eat one another (or worse, me).
And all these burdens pile high like the dust on the mantle and the dishes in the sink. And my heart sinks.
I question: ‘Me, Lord? What can I do for your kingdom here? How can you use me in the middle of all this mess to do anything about all that mess out there?‘
I read Moses and question alongside him:
But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11
Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?”Exodus 4:1
My list of excuses for doing less in God’s kingdom is as long as my list of to-do’s. But God won’t let me excuse myself as He answers me out of these burning bushes.
Then the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?”
All he had in his hand was a staff, the stick he’d used all those years to shepherd those silly sheep. ‘What? This thing?’ And just like that God turns that everyday, ordinary piece of wood into a miracle. He throws it down and it becomes a snake. Within months, that little stick will throw him into a world he could never imagine-water into blood, frogs and gnats and darkness everywhere. The stick will make a path through the sea and make water come out of a rock.
That little thing in his hand would be God’s way of handing him every little thing he would need.
I sit here on a Monday, baby in my lap (ready for a nap) and preschoolers ready to have all my attention. The to-do list is long and I’m asking God. ‘Who, me?…What if?…But I…’
And the answer comes with a question, ‘Nicole, what is in your hand?’
A husband, four children, a house with space, a full pantry and a kitchen to cook in, a phone, this little machine where I can type, a van that runs, relationships with neighbors and newcomers and moms like me.
All Moses had was a stick. Can I not let all this in my hand become His miracle? Can I not use all this for His Kingdom, for His people, for Him?
He questions me and quiets all my questioning. I use this one free hand to make the list for today and find He’s already put in my hand all I need.
“I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:8