There are weeks like this one, with nothing but question marks at the end of each day.
What will his boss say?
What will my new doctor say?
Should we commit to this?
Can we actually make it to Wednesday without bread or milk (or flour or fruit) and only 2 eggs?
When things are looking a little questionable, I can find myself looking all over the place for answers-at this screen, at the job market, at our bank statement, at some miraculous diet book. I can look everywhere for some escape from this tension-this not knowing, this confession that all is up in the air and who knows how it will fall down on us.
I tuck myself and all the coming week under the heavy covers late at night and set the alarm for early. When it sounds, I just want to keep sleeping, at least one more hour in my dreams where all this unknown is forgotten among surprising fantasies.
But I roll myself over and ask for grace to wake up and read and these are the words…
‘We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.’
2 Chronicles 20:12b
I read of Jehoshaphat and great armies and real reasons to be afraid. And this becomes my confession for the week-I do not know what to do. In a world of organizers and calendars and agendas, this is real truth: I really don’t know what to do.
Does God know what to do?
Perhaps this is the real tension, the real reason I look in every other direction when all is up in the air-because I’m afraid of what God might do, could do, and I kinda sorta wish I were God. I really want to answer all these questions myself and make all this turn out just right.
But I look at the questions lingering this week and wonder how I’d answer them, if I actually could. What would I have the boss say, what words would I put in the doctor’s mouth, what commitment would be the right one?
How in the world could I ever be God?
So, this week, I confess it…I am weak. I will say it all week long, “I don’t know what to do. But my eyes are on you, Lord.”
I don’t know what to do and have no idea what He will do. But He does and He will. And the whole point is not an answer to all these questions but an invitation to open my eyes and see Him, praise Him and thank Him and trust Him.
So, we, the weak, confess it this week, Lord. ‘We don’t know what to do with our week. But our eyes are on you, Lord.’