I’ve had this pain in my side for months now. And I’ve sat in more than a handful of waiting rooms. I’ve waited for scans and screenings. I’ve waited for experts with experience and they’ve all said the same thing:
‘Let’s just wait and see.’
I wish they’d just say it out loud: ‘Only God knows.’
Because really, they don’t know and they can’t see and so all they can do is wait.
Wait for it to go away. Or wait for it to get worse.
And sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake and feel the throbbing, it can feel like an eternity waiting for the earth to turn toward the Sun and bring a day full of distractions from the waiting.
There are days when it feels like all of life is nothing but waiting. And honestly, we’re all in this house waiting on so many more things than a doctor’s diagnosis.
I wake one day with my list of all I’m waiting on and at the light as the clock ticks and we’re already late, He speaks and reminds me that all these anticipations are really just preparations.
We’re all really only waiting on one thing.
And why shouldn’t we be waiting?
We who say we follow God, how can we walk in His ways and not keep His pace?
The God who waited for Noah to finish that boat
The God who waited for Abraham to find his way
The God who waited for Moses and all of Israel in the wilderness
The God who led his people slowly into the Promised Land
The God who waited for David to grow up
The God who waited in quiet for hundreds of years
The God who waited for his Son to grow in Mary’s womb and grow tall in Joseph’s house
The Son who waited in quiet before He told the world His name
The Son who waited with secret miracles and behind the scenes teaching
The Son who waited in agony on the Cross
The Son who waited three days in the tomb
How have I missed this before?
From the beginning, He waited and paused and held on so that His children would not bear the full punishment of their lack of love for Him.
And then He stopped waiting and poured out on Christ all the wrath that had been waiting on Him.
Now He waits again. For us. For all who will call on Christ and trust His goodness alone. He waits to be merciful to more of us.
And so shouldn’t I take my own turn in a waiting room?
It’s not the doctor’s report or the removal of pain or the job offer or the future plans I’m really waiting for.
All the other waiting is really just a warm up.
What I’m really wanting is not a return to good health or normalcy, I’m really waiting on a return of the only Good One.
It’s only those who are really waiting for Him that will ever really get to be with Him.
‘so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time,not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.’ Hebrews 9:28
I feel the pain today and swallow the pill and feel like I can’t wait for this all to be over, to know what it is that’s ailing me. But I read this here and know deep down what it is.
I really just want Him, the One that waited for me. And I want today to be a day of waiting for Him-His timing, His provision, and His return.
I touch my side and remember the hole in His-a scar that will always remind me that a waiting moment is never a wasted minute, if I’m really waiting on my scarred Savior to come back and get me.
‘It will be said on that day,
“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.’ Isaiah 25:9